How my spiritual journey started with my father fatal work accident.

This is going to be an ongoing conversation, the first part was here My first Blog on my father’s death

A couple of significant things happen after my father died. Things I would call supernatural. Medical mental health professionals would argue its just normal grief phenomena. Key point my dad’s mother whom I loved dearly died shortly after her son mowing the lawns.

  1. Seen an “Orb”  from what my research seems to call them it was clear sphere shaped on my bedroom door.
  2. Horrible nightmares and feeling of the room expanding or thickening as best explained.
  3. My father and grandmother spoke to me very clearly in a dream. My Grandmother, dads mum is profound in terms of philosophical content.
  4. Experienced what would be called a haunted house experience by some.
  5. Insomnia and fear of the dark became life controlling due to supernatural activity, which as an adult under the care of a psychiatrist; who would categorise it a hallucination.  ” Spiritual hallucination” is the term widely used in her discipline of work and study.

The orb was the most terrifying thing I experienced. I have no idea why it scared me it just moved down my door and did not harm me. I guess the unknown to a 12-13 year boy was terrifying.

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What happened? well, I woke up in the middle of the night because I was having trouble sleeping. I was not scared or alarmed at this point just awake. We lived in a little three bedroom house adjacent to the block my father was killed on. We had sold the land to a couple of guys who in hindsight were gay. Being gay in Tasmania in the 70s was illegal and people treated such persons badly generally speaking. These guys were the nicest fellows I new and treated me well and often help calm me down when I was inconsolable and naughty as a child. My mother would just fall into a emotional heap trying to deal with me. Consequently, these guys helped her out regularly and made me feel better too.

The “orb” Believe in them or not? I think it was,  appeared on my bedroom door. It was about the head size and at first glance, I thought it was the moon reflecting through my window. I soon released this was impossible and it was moving down the door towards the floor. My window was a little opening out a type with the old handle that locked into a pin. I use to leave it open for our cat to come in and out. However, this night it was closed and the see-through white blind was pulled down.  My bedroom and the once spare block is on the left in the picture. This house has not changed much since I was 8 years old. I am 50 now and remember the experience like yesterday.

What happen? I screamed and ran at it..Go figure :)). I woke the whole house up as was shaken and in disbelief what I have experienced. My mother said, ” you must have been asleep and had a dream.” I explained I was wide awake and no it was real! Poor mum had enough going on without me seeing a ghost or something in my room. She was only 18 when she had me and my father died when she was 26. The whole experience was very traumatic for her and I was an impossible child at times.

I went on a mission to find out what I saw and what I can do to prevent seeing it again. Asked all my teachers and friend and their parents. Nobody offered any solutions and I felt lost and confused and terrified of the dark. I had to sleep with a lamp and radio on. This all happen on the couch in our lounge room and I refused to sleep in my bedroom. In hindsight, it could have easily happened again in the lounge :))…  I just hated that room and refused to sleep there.

I was not bought up religious and never went to church. I have over the years been involved with churches and had some fun. These days I do not belong to any Christian faith communities. However, a friends mum gave me across, it had magnified glass in the centre where if you held it the light you could read the lords prayer.  For the non-religious here it is Lord’s prayer I could never remember the prayer so I just made it up to sound similar. I would hold this cross in my hand and say ” Please lord help me sleep and forgive me for my sins.”  Beleive it or not at some point I slept better and lost the cross in the river swimming as a teenager. I have never really felt comfortable at night and often certain houses I have slept in give me unusual feeling or a better way to say it I do not like the energy I sense there.

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I will continue to tell my story because you will see how it has shaped my spirituality and why I am not a religious person, here is a picture of me in high school as a young kid at about the age of all my insomnia. I just noticed then the cross in this picture is still around my kneck…wow never noticed that before 🙂

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