Dealing with crisis and emotional pain.

Having bipolar and recovering PTSD in a personal crisis is extremely difficult. I recently suffered a relationship loss of a significant family member. This was to much for me to deal with and my mental heath was impacted so much I ended up in a Private Mental health facility as you know if you follower my blogs.

This blog is how I have dealt with a life crisis. It feels and appears like I am in complete darkness and feel extremely fragile.

I walk and exercise in the gym as much as possible. I also read and meditate when I am up to it. I do not take any non prescribed substances.

1. Sleep is crucial and feels like it’s impossible to do.

2. Eating becomes difficult and the though of food has no appeal.

3 Social outings are avoided and people are best avoided if possible.

4. Rational thoughts are not easily achievable racing thought are the normal.

So, what have I done to assist me to get on track with my life again?

First sleep is extremely important..I put this at the top of my list.

For me I took a sleeping tablet and a anti psychotic medication. Not for long only about three days is enough to get my sleep patterns back. I can tell when it’s getting better because my ration thoughts come back and naturally my coping skills are more resilient.

This measure has produced insight and a valuable tool in my crisis. I was admitted to hospital ( they used meds to get me to sleep. This worked in three days) because of my PTSD mainly however my Bipolar has caused some new feelings. Predominantly I have struggled with mania all my life and the depressive side has been minimal. Recently I have experience a whole new level of depression and the sleep strategy has helped tremendously, thankfully.

At first the depression scared the crap out of me because I had not experienced this level or felt this type of feeling before. I was scared I might go deeper and never come out of it. I knew the feelings of mania. After all, it’s been my friend for most of my life. This was new and extremely frightening in terms of the unknown. It’s a horrible feeling and hard to articulate. – Numb and nothing has meaning. You just exist and for me stare out a widow lost and wondering how to get out of such metaphorical black hole.

My status – sleep well last three days due to medication and feel more rational and moved from the “metaphorical black hole”

I am getting some therapy soon. I see my psychiatrist Monday. I feel confident that now I understand sleep as my best recovery tool. I will eventually get back to normal management without needing medication induced sleep. I have a feeling of relief knowing sleep has a resetting in a sense of my cognitive abilities especially in terms of being more grounded in the truth ( reality) and offers me strength to continue to make healthy choice in my life. I will be sleeping tonight with no help from my rescue meds.

I normally just take Tegretol or known as Carbazepine 400 mg morning and night and this has worked 85% of the time in managing my mood disorder. Exercise, meditation, reading, study and now I am taking on therapy as well should keep me stable enough to stay out of hospital and lead a regular life.

What can you as readers do ? Raise awareness around stigma and support you friends with poor mental health also look after yourself in terms of self care. Poor mental health and illness can affect anyone. Take care Scott ❤️

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