“When the Aggregates arise, decay and die, O monk, every moment you are born, decay and die. Thus in every instant we are born; in every instant we die. Birth and death are two almost indistinguishable and imperceptible strands of a single rope of existence”
This was a paragraph that spoke to me quoted from a unknown teacher in a book I am reading, clearly Buddhist Teaching. The book is not Buddhist however!
I grew up in Australia, actually Tasmania and still reside in Australia. Death in my family was a tough subject to make senses of and certainly no religious nuances, a little superstitious and possibly metaphysical at times. Therefore I hand no idea what to do with it or mange the loss and grief I suffered.
Three choice really Was offered.
1. Loose your shit completely over the loss. I.e drink your sorrows away and cry in your beer.
2. Stoic and pretended you are not bothered to much about reality’s sharp edges at times.
3. Say nothing and never talk about it at all.
The reality of these approaches leaves you numb and confused also angry and feelings of hopelessness.
Death is as natural as birth and problems are just as much part of life as fun times. The way we interpret life is the key! Facing reality is extremely helpful not sad. Initially, you will feel sad when sitting with a family member or friends at end of life. You may also feel sad when you listen deeply to a persons emotional pain. However, theses experiences should be embraced and welcomed just like your vacation to your favourite destinations.
We only develop the strength and compassion needed in sitting and holding the hands of the dying, sick, mentally ill etc. If we run from our deep fears we only make our suffering worse latter on. It Is like gym training the muscles have to hurt and recover to grow stronger.
Suffering is horrendous at times. Especially emotional pain. However, meditation and contemplation are tools I have used to grow and understand my inner world more. We need courage to face our pain and push through not run.
Asking for help too is a key and searching for valuable teaching. Pride says, ‘ I need no help!’ Wisdom knows, different. We all need love and support and often in my experience receiving is as important in growth as giving. Yes, we need solitude as well to integrate our lived experiences. Loneliness is often our way to distract from learning solitude. Silence is another great method of learning.
Ok, so you say, ‘what are you saying I need to do?’I am not telling you to do anything! However, from my experiences getting around marginalised people and listening and doing things that scare you like sitting with the hopeless or dying. These things have helped me face my own fear about life and suffering and have given me a deeper strength in hard times. Scott ❤️🧘♂️