Where do you belong?

As we get older many people are less social. I am included in this group.

I love writing and spend many hours a week enjoying my hobby that’s turning into a full-time occupation.

Why is isolation so alluring for some? My sister is similar. She lives on fifty acres of bush in Northern Tasmania. She’s off the grid and has been for over a decade. She is not a witter. She loves gardening. She would much prefer to be in the garden than socialising. Likewise, I would much prefer to be writing than socialising.

Does this mean we dislikes people? No, it’s a preference. We both can socialise and do it well. ( given the right group) For some people isolation is frightening, and an indication of failure. For many social status, and how many friends they have are a measure of success.

I have heard people and some medical professionals say; such and such needs to socialise more. They assume he/she needs to be around more people. Most of the elderly family members I have known. Many seventy plus love their own company and prefer to be left alone. This is commonly an elderly person who has been on their own for years. Why don’t they leave them alone?

The motivation; projection of their own fears. I know there are some who are lonely and living on their own. It’s not a default sentence to misery being on our own. Furthermore, sometimes living with people and can be lonely too. Paradoxically living with the wrong person is the loneliest experience a person can have. Many assume all single people need partners and people without kids need children? Projection; people cannot imagine themselves being single or without children.

What is it all about?

‘To pose a question with sincerity, you need to suspend all expectations as to what the answer might be. You need to rest in a condition of unknowing, vitally alert to the sheer mystery of being alive rather than dead. In this way, you cultivate a middle way between “it is” and “it is not,” affirmation and negation, being and nothingness.’

Batchelor, Stephen. After Buddhism: Rethinking the Dharma for a Secular Age (p. 11). Yale University Press. Kindle Edition.

My point:

The unhealthiest thing we can do is put people in boxes and assume we know what’s good for them. They know what’s good for them. I am not referring to metal illness or chronic illness; even though this group still needs independence.  The older generation certainly know how to take care of themselves. It’s acceptable to die at home too. The medicalisation of everything is questionable. We don’t need professional advice on how to live good lives. This world is tormented from information over load. You can find coaches for everything. Whats the nuance? “We all need professional help to live good lives.” People have become too dependent on external recourses. I appreciate we need help at times, but we are running too quickly for help. We need to trust ourselves more.

Finally you are allowed to enjoy your own company and there is nothing wrong with you. Also, you don’ have to participate in social media. You don’t have to join some social group. You can read a book or walk in the park all on your own and it is completely normal. Whatever you choose for you life is fine. Introverted or extroverted, both should respect each other.

Finally my quote….

The meaning of life is not how much we can horde and collect. It’s about how much we can let go of. Letting go of our illusionary sense of control and power. Letting go of the idea that I, me, myself are the most important issues in life. Letting go of death anxieties and grandiose and idolised versions of self. Letting go of it all and understand today’s is the best day to enjoy our lives! Life has no meaning other than the opportunity to create meaning. In our relationships, good times, bad times and every aspect of life you can imagine. Scott

2 thoughts on “Where do you belong?

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